Ghost Story- Fact of Fiction?

Police Blotter: Hamlin, NY. Sept. 26, 2003

Two men, Mike --------- and Joe ----- reported to Sheriff’s Deputies that they were witness to a strange, ghostly apparition as they left a local tavern late Friday night. According to the police report, the two men had been “discussing business” for several hours in the Hamlin Inn. Around midnight, they left the establishment and began walking southbound on Lake Road to their vehicles. As the neared the parking lot adjacent to the Town Hall, the lights on the ATM suddenly flickered and went out. A peculiar cold breeze came up from the east and a dense fog, “almost like a wall,” approached the two men. They froze, staring at the weirdly lighted mist as it came closer and then enveloped them. “We wanted to run, but our legs were all rubbery. Then we saw the figures.” Inside the fog, according to the witnesses, was a group of men shuffling slowly toward them.

“It was horrible exclaimed Mike, “They were like zombies from ‘Night of the Living Dead!’ And we couldn’t move!”

The specters came right up to the men and stopped, staring with ghastly liquid red eyes straight at them- then one of the ghouls spoke!

“Who did this? Who did this?” it asked. The men, too frightened to speak, stood mute.

“Who let this happen?” another ghost whispered, is a sad gravely voice. “”Who let this happen to our wonderful town?”

Joe, the bigger of the two men, managed to reply, “Do..do..do what?” he asked.shakily.

“Who let our town fall so far behind?” spoke another creature. “Who kept Hamlin stuck so far in the past? Did you?” asked the first monster as he pointed a strong, bony finger at the men.

“No, no!” cried the men, “It wasn’t us!.”

“Who was it?” demanded another fiend, as it stepped closer to the men, his hands raised as if to strangle them. “Who failed Hamlin?” he asked sharply, “Tell me NOW!”

“It was them, it was them” shouted the men, pointing to the Town Hall. “They did it. They’re the ones who are keeping Hamlin in the past!”

“Who are they?” bellowed the monster. “The Town Board!” the men shouted.

“At that point we were so scared our feet finally began to work so we ran like hell!” reported Joe. “We ran across the street where our cars were and looked back” said Mike “The ghosts had turned and were walking toward the Town Hall. Now you could hear them moaning and gnashing their teeth, it was horrible!”

Joe added, “Then I thought, ‘Nobody will believe us!’ so I yelled to Mike ‘Get your camera’. He grabbed it outa his car and we ran back across the street.” “I took this picture and then I shouted at them, ‘Who are you guys?’ "

“It was horrible,” continued Joe “one of them turned and growled, ‘We are the spirits of Supervisors Past!’ the way he said it was terrible- scary like he was gonna murder somebody. That’s when we ran for good.”

The men quickly drove off, but called the Sheriff’s office from a nearby house.

Police are at a loss to explain the strange photograph. As to the testimony of the witnesses, their only comment was, “I think they might have been ‘discussing business’ a little too long.”

"Doouuu!" as Homer might say.

First the right foot. Goood! Now...

By now everyone has probably received their copy of the Hamlin X-Press. The "new" town newsletter. Besides looking like a flyer from the Ginther School, its arrival marks the unofficial start of the Republican campaign. After letting the newsletter lapse for years, Austin Warner had Shirley Hollink create one- just in time for the elections.

"Production problems" must have delayed its release before the primary. Actually, it wasn't released because the administration feared it would be thought of as Ed Evan's newsletter!

Evans had long ago been promised that the burden of the newsletter would be lifted from his shoulders. However, the rest of the do-nothing town board, including Warner himself, couldn't come up with a volunteer to take the job! So AW3, who loves to claim that he has, "improved communications," let the newsletter disappear.

Now, the public gets to pay for AW3's re-election efforts! Taxpayers fund the newsletter, proving his claim of "improved communications." It is a cynical way to treat your constituency. As campaign literature, it should be paid for by the candidate- just as Ed Evans did with his!

The real story however, concerns the notice about the "Town of Hamlin Comprehensive Plan Survey." The newsletter states that, 'You will be getting a questionnaire in your mail..." Then, a little later on, we are told to, "drop (it) in the mail and return it by September 15th."

Obviously, the newsletter was supposed to be mailed weeks ago! It was delayed, in this instance, because Warner can't manage the committee. If there was a deadline, it should have been met.

The survey has not been mailed. It is not even complete. As of Tuesday, Sept. 16th, the committee was still discussing its contents! Since the Comprehensive Plan/Zoning Code Rewrite Committee is a secret organization which is closed to the public, no one from the public knows when the survey will be mailed.

If you think that's funny, how about this- the newsletter states, "Your answers are completely ANONYMOUS. Sure they are!

This administration has once again demonstrated its lack of crediblity- and ability to manage.

...but small minded!

A Heritage of Petty Politics

In a letter to the Hamlin-Clarkson Herald, Austin Warner, chief beneficiary of the Heritage Day event, thanked people who had worked on it. All save one.
Teacher and Poet M..J. Iuppa had been commissioned by the organizers to write an original poem in honor of Hamlin history. She generously agreed, and sought no remuneration or other consideration.
Iuppa worked hard on the poem, meeting with the Town Historian on several occasions and absorbing numerous historical records. She wrote the poem (see below) and it was received with great enthusiasm by those attending Heritage Day. She autographed many of the published “broadsides” of the poem, which she had brought to distribute. Iuppa was very grateful for the reception to her work.
Apparently the Supervisor was not. Although Iuppa was introduced as, “Hamlin’s Poet Laureate,” by Shirley Hollink, Warner pointedly left her name off the list of people he thanked in the paper.
Why would AW3 be so impolite and petty?
Iuppa is married to Peter Tonery the independent candidate challenging Warner for Supervisor (and publisher of this weblog.) He must believe in visiting the “sins of the father,” since Iuppa has never been politically involved in Hamlin.
It serves as a reminder that even a big man can act small.

He walked the line.
1932 - 2003

Hamlin resident Fester Satterwhite celebrates.

Republican Primary Results In

Despite running only a "virtual campaign" Councilman Ed Evans lost a close contest with incumbent Austin Warner III in the Republican primary for town Supervisor. Evans, who did not canvass door to door, promoted his candidacy mostly through print ads and his familiar, "Hamlin Post" newsletter.

Despite the low key approach, Evans managed to garner a healthy 41% of the turnout. Warner's campaign, by contrast, was loud and long. He patrolled neighborhoods in a schoolbus and claims to have visited over 900 homes. This effort yielded a meger 466 votes. Warner's support dropped about 15% from his last primary, against Dick Kruger in "99.

Fan Mail

Note: These are a sampling of letters received lately on the Heritage Day stories.

Who the .... are these people that they think they can tell people how to act or what to do in public? This wasn’t a private party on private land. This is public land owned by us the taxpayer. These people are all POLITICIANS!! How do they think the thing (Heritage Day) isn’t political? Come on! RM, Hamlin
****
Having lived in Hamlin for over twenty five years I know how our local politicians think they have some special right to tell people how they are supposed to behave. Austin Warners administration has always acted Holier-than-Thou. Remember how he used town property and town employees to hold a prayer meeting at the town hall? EBW, Hamlin

****
In the first place, anything run by politicians IS political. How can it be anything else? How stupid does Shirley Hollink think the public is that they wouldn’t know that a stage full of yapping politicians isn’t political? TE, Hamlin

****
Any “councilperson” who tells a citizen that they can’t hand out a newsletter at a public event should be thrown out of office! ST, Hamlin

****
Who put Shirley Hollink and Austin Warner in charge of turning on and off the the First Amendment in Hamlin? Its not a faucet- its OUR RIGHT! LW, Hamlin

****
If Warner had stuck his face in my car and yelled at me I would have punched him in the nose! JK, Parma

Chitty, chitty,blah,blah

Suspicious Bus Found at Town Hall

Dectectives from the Brockton Ma. police department were on the scene Saturday investigating the possible theft of a Brockton school bus.

"We did have a report that a bus was stolen," stated Sgt. Schults of the Brockton PD. "A lady at a Burger King called in and said that a guy dressed as Santa Claus was driving out of the resturant in a school bus. She thought it was suspicious."

When the bus appeared in the parking lot of the Hamlin NY Town Hall a dilligent citizen contacted the County Sherriff's office, who in turn called Sgt. Schults. "I came up to use the ATM and saw this thing. There was nobody around and I thought the whole thing just didn't smell right. Sos I called the cops," said long time resident James B. Martin.

The investigation continues.

Sail on!

NOTE: I HAVE HAD NUMEROUS INQUIRIES WHETHER THIS IS SATIRE OR TRUE. IT IS TRUE!

Hamlin Officials Trim Constitution

Hamlin resident, Denny Roach, a registered Republican and retired U.S. Navy Captain was recently cited by Hamlin Town officials for "inappropriate behavior." During last week's Hamlin "Heritage Days" festivities Roach found that freedom of speech may not be alive and well locally. The celebration, which featured a dias of exclusively Republican dignitaries and starred incumbent Supervisor Warner visiting the stage at least three times, was naturally billed as “non-political.”

During the lull following the speeches and political back slapping, Roach began to ask people if they wanted the latest copy of "The Hamlin Post." He asked and gave them only to those who said yes. “Everyone either enthusiastically received a copy or thanked me, declining because they had already gotten one,” said Roach.

He had handed out about 12-15 copies when co-organizer and Town Councilperson Shirley Hollink approached. Shirley sternly informed the Naval Captain that the festivities were not supposed to be political and asked him to stop handing the newsletter out. Roach responded that he didn't think "The Hamlin Post" was political since it contained only Town news of interest to all, and no political ads. He then asked Hollink if she had asked the New Hamlin Democrats, several of whom were in attendance, to remove their "New Hamlin Democrats" t-shirts which were certainly more "political" than "The Hamlin Post." At that moment a lady walked up and requested a newsletter. Roach explained to the woman that he had just been told by Councilperson Hollink that he was not to give them out. Ms. Hollink intervened saying, " I ASKED you not to give them out, I didn't TELL you not to. There is a big difference." So he gave a copy to the lady. At that point however, he conceded to the Republican councilwoman's wishes and stopped handing them out. Apparently the newsletter was too "highly political" for a public event.

But that’s not the end of the story. Not by a bowshot.

Early the next morning, on his way to work, Mr. Roach found himself driving behind the Town Supervisor, Austin Warner. At the stop sign at Martin and Church Roads, Warner pulled over, jumped out of his car and flagged Roach down. The startled Roach rolled down his window and was immediately harangued by Warner for his "inappropriate action" the previous evening. The encounter ended with Mr. Roach shaking his head in dismay, yet smiling as well. Said Roach, "I don't know whether I should feel chastised or honored."

He wonders about government officials who seem afraid of town news being distributed to residents. "I am particularly surprised at Supervisor Warner's apparent reluctance to have news printed. He stood in my driveway during his initial campaign for office and promised improved communications. However, during his reign, he actually quit publishing 'The Hamlin Post,' and also decommissioned the very active and informative "public forum" section on the Town of Hamlin’s website."

Mr. Roach, a man not easily bullied, is deeply concerned that our right to freedom of speech may be impeded by the actions of certain Town officials. He thanked the publisher of this website for providing a means for citizens to air their concerns. “I encourage everyone who finds this type of bullying offensive to take the time to vote in the primary on September 9 and in the general election in November.”

Excellent advice.